English is fascinating. Changing the stress on different words of a sentence can completely shift its meaning and implication.

 

What can I do?

What can I do?

What can I do?

What can I do?

 

Each one implies a different nuance, but they are all worth addressing.

What can I do?

How can I identify what sorts of things are doable?

What can I do?

There are so many things that I want to do, but there are only so many hours in a day and only so much Me to go around. There are also things that, for whatever reason, I simply can’t do. It’s important to acknowledge this so I can let go of the Can’ts and focus on the Cans. (Okay, that was a pretty awkward sentence, but hopefully you understand what I mean by it.)

What can I do?

This is closely related to the emphasis on “can,” but it further narrows focus to identify “what is mine to do.” Just because I can do something doesn’t mean that it’s the best use of my time and energy. This one step has vastly increased my ability to have a positive impact on the world. If I spend too much time doing stuff that isn’t congruent with my personal contribution to the world, even if it’s Good Stuff, it not only takes away from my unique contribution, but it takes more energy to have less impact because it’s not in sync with my life as a whole.

Life has become so much more fluid once I realized that I’m not a fighter. My contribution, as I currently understand it, is with-nessing. It’s creating space for others to grieve, to celebrate, to process big emotions. It’s unconditional love and allowing them to be fully themselves, however they want to express it. It’s letting them know that they are not alone on their journey.

I’m pretty sure the world wouldn’t be very interesting if everyone sat around with-nessing everyone else. Fortunately, I’m not the only person in the world, and there are literally billions of other people each making their own contributions. We need warriors and weavers, visionaries and inventors, artists and architects. We need people to plant gardens and people to organize protests. We need a village not just to raise children, but to nurture human connection for all.

 

What can I do?

This is my reminder that, while it might feel good to turn inward and focus on that seed of happiness inside myself, I’m not on this planet to stare at my own navel. Yes, it’s important to prioritize my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health and well-being, but that’s just the foundation. That’s the price of admission, because I am here to live, to make that contribution and strive to eventually leave the world a little better for my having been part of it.

 

One step at a time. Start with the basics (see my last newsletter Learning to Breathe, if you missed it). Decide what your choices of action are, what you are capable of doing, what is yours to do, then do it, one step at a time.

You are not alone, and together, we truly can make a difference.