It’s not about denial; it’s about choice of focus. Would I rather my husband still be alive? Of course. 100%.
But it could have been so much worse. What if he’d died 5 years ago, when the kids would have been even younger? What if he’d died half an hour earlier, in the bedroom with Seraphim instead of in the ambulance? What if we didn’t have medical insurance? (I just got the EOB today.) So grateful for all the small miracles.
When it comes down to it, when thinking about where I want to dwell in my head and my heart, I’m inspired by a friend’s take on the Optimist/Pessimist analogy:
It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full as long as you savor what you’re drinking.